dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fuck appropriateness.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were trust falling into bushes
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
