I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
