I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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