I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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