how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
