oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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