ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
