I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
