1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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