called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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