I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times