OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.