please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs