He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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