i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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