drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
