I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
