okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
