Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Couch. On fire.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
