After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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