Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
