just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
