Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
