This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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