Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
