i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize