my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude i'm inner monologue high
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
