Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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