Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize