we have officially lost it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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