i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
My underwear smells like fireworks.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I sprained my soul last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
