Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
