we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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