so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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