Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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