i would punch a child for taco bell
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
