I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
