I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize