Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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(212): View more from New York

he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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(386): View more from Florida

First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.

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(563): View more from Iowa

i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...

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(517): View more from Michigan

just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.

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(904): View more from Florida

I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I’m calling dibs!

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!

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