goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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