she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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