hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
