11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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