i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
