you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
