i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
