She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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