I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have fence marks all over my body
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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