i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize