Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
