My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
