DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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