Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
