This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
