I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
