dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Don't make out with my wife yet
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
