Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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