He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
