But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
