Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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