I'm so fucking centered right now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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