Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize